The Stupid Card
by lost lullaby
Summary: What would happen if the Stupid Card got to Eriol? Read on to find out... *warning* extreme weirdness in this fic!! Please R & R!


***Ok, this is probably around PG 13 - R because of the mature and kinda sexual content... There's also a few swears here and there.***  
  
********DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN CCS! THE PEOPLE OF CLAMP DO*********  
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Sakura and Syaoran, now 15 years old and in junior high, walked to school hand in hand. Sakura stopped, closed her eyes for about a minute, and then opened them. "Syaoran, did you sense anything? It felt like a Clow Card!" Sakura said.  
  
"No, I didn't sense anything. Didn't you capture all the cards?" he asked.  
  
"Yes... we should keep our eyes open just in case."  
  
  
  
When they arrived at their classroom, they found Tomoyo and Eriol already there.   
  
"Hi guys!" she said to them.  
  
Tomoyo and Eriol both looked up and returned the greeting. No one really knew this, but Eriol had been trying to ask Tomoyo out the whole school year. It was now June and he was running out of time. Eriol was suddenly come over with an urge to impress Tomoyo. He stood up, walked over to Tomoyo, and started to do 1 arm handstands.  
  
"Hey! Look what I can do! Look what I can do!" he said childishly.  
  
"Wow! That's really impressive!" Tomoyo told him.  
  
He got up. "Really? That's not as impressive as what I can do with you in bed." Eriol said, looking like he had no control over his words.   
  
"Excuse me? I hope I didn't hear what I thought I just heard!" Tomoyo said, blushing slightly. No one knew this either, but Tomoyo had the biggest crush on Eriol. 'Oh, so he wants to play games now, doesn't he!' Tomoyo thought.  
  
"No, you didn't hear anything! I was just mumbling... That's all..." replied Eriol, feeling really stupid now.   
  
Sakura witnessed the whole thing. 'Whoa! That's just not like Eriol!' she thought. Just then, her teacher walked in and class started.  
  
  
  
In the middle of health class (they were doing sex ed.), Eriol blurted out, "Whoa! What a sexy mama!" Everyone turned and looked at him.  
  
"I mean... that's really interesting!" He blushed a deep scarlet.  
  
The health teacher sent him outside. The door was left open, so he could still hear the lesson. Tomoyo's desk was next to the door.   
  
"Psst! Tomoyo! Look at this!" Eriol whispered.  
  
She turned and looked at Eriol. He was doing several flips in the air. He stopped and started grinding with the water fountain. He grinded a bit too hard and... Yes, hurt his jewels. He dropped to the ground making weird barking noises. Mid bard, he realized what he was doing and stopped. Tomoyo sat there smiling at him. Eriol was really embarrassed. He went and hid in a corner of the hallway. 'What's wrong with me? Why am I acting so stupid?' he thought.  
  
  
  
The next period was gym class. They were in the process of the gymnastics unit. That class, all the groups had to perform their routines. Sakura, Tomoyo, Rika, Naoko, and Chiharu were in a group. Eriol, Syaoran and Yamazaki were in another. The 1st group to present was Eriol's. They chose to do a variety of different flips, summersaults, and cartwheels. When Eriol did his stuff, Tomoyo blurted out loud "Work it Eriol! Uh huh uh huh!"   
  
Eriol heard the comment and fell to the ground. "Whoops!" he said. Tomoyo blushed, 'Ha! I got him back good! 2 can play this game!' she thought.  
  
When Eriol went to try again, Tomoyo yelled "Oh Eriol! Oh yes! YES!!!" Everyone stared at her, but she just ignored them.   
  
Eriol sweatdropped and fell again.  
  
"Eriol! What is with you?" Syaoran asked.   
  
"I don't know... didn't you hear what Tomoyo said? That just isn't like her!" he replied.  
  
"You know, both of you have been acting really weird today!" Syaoran said.  
  
  
  
Lunchtime rolled around and Eriol still couldn't figure out what was happening with himself. Sakura was beginning to suspect something, but she didn't pursue her thoughts. Eriol and Tomoyo were waiting to buy their lunch. Tomoyo bought her usual salad and diet coke. Eriol bought a whole medley of junk food. He bought: powdered donuts, chocolate pudding, chocolate eclairs, angel cake, fruit tarts, a strawberry milkshake, cheese cake, creme bruler, apple pie (with vanilla ice cream on top) and fudge brownies.  
  
"Holy shit! Are you eating for 2 or something?" asked Tomoyo upon seeing his tray.  
  
"Not really... Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for lunch!" he asked.  
  
"Silly, you know I always eat with you and the others!"  
  
"No, I meant just you and me!"  
  
"Well, I guess so! I don't see why not!"  
  
She followed Eriol. He was headed to behind the school.  
  
"Eriol, why are we going behind the school?" she asked.  
  
"Just follow me! I've got something set up for us." he replied.  
  
  
  
When they arrived, Tomoyo saw that he had a picnic blanket set up. "Please sit down, Tomoyo darling." Eriol said. He had a weird look on his face, but Tomoyo couldn't figure it out.  
  
"Ok, if you say so!" she said.  
  
When she sat down, Eriol took her into his arms, making her drop her lunch.   
  
"What are you-"  
  
"Shh... Don't speak! Just relax!" he interrupted, putting his finger on her lips.  
  
Tomoyo felt like she was in heaven! She was just melting in his arms. She had been waiting for this for as long as she can remember. Eriol thought, 'I can't believe I'm doing this! Why am I doing this?' With her head on his lap, Eriol started to feed her some of his desserts. It was going fine until Eriol started shoving the food into her mouth. Sometimes, he wouldn't even care if the food was going into her mouth or not. He just kept on pushing food towards her head.   
  
"Wha aryou doing" Tomoyo said with food all over her face and in her mouth. She got up and started to clean herself up. 'So, he wants to play this game again...' Tomoyo thought.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo looked at the dazed Eriol. She saw that the milkshake was still untouched. She finished cleaning herself up then sat back down. Eriol seemed to be normal again. She picked up the milkshake and poured some of it on Eriol's right cheek.   
  
"What are you-"  
  
"Shh... Don't speak! Let Tomoyo take care of you..." she said, not letting him finish his question.   
  
She pushed him down, and unbuttoned his shirt. She continued to pour the milkshake everywhere; on his other cheek, his chest, arms and hands. She was sprawled all over him. Eriol was in heaven. It's not very often that girls did this stuff to guys. Kaho never even did stuff like this with him. Of course it was probably because he was still too young... or too young looking. The milkshake on his skin felt sensual. 'Man, she really knows how to please guys...' he thought. Just then, he felt something else on his cheek. It was Tomoyo! She was now licking his cheek! 'OMIGOD!!! She's actually doing this!' Eriol thought.  
  
While Eriol was having his dirty little thoughts (come on, he's a 15 year old boy!), he didn't notice that Tomoyo had stopped and left him there. All milkshaky and dirty.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Tomoyo was running back inside the school to her locker as fast as she could. She couldn't believe what she just did. She felt so dirty. She only did that because he started it first. She quickly changed into a new shirt and headed to class.  
  
  
  
Math class was next. Sakura was now aware that there was Clow Card on the loose. She just couldn't pinpoint where it was. She felt it near Eriol earlier, but she couldn't think of a reason why he would have it. She shrugged off the feeling because she needed to concentrate on her math problems.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo was wondering where Eriol was. It wasn't like him to be late for class. He came to class just in time. If he had been any later, he would have gotten a detention. He looked at Tomoyo and she winked at him. 'Maybe she really does like me!' he thought.  
  
After the teacher had given the class the last problems for the day, Eriol moonwalked to Tomoyo's desk. "I've got a question for you. What happens when me and you are in a room, we add a bed, subtract our clothes, you divide you legs and I multiply?" Eriol asked immaturely.  
  
"What the hell is with you? You've been acting really stupid today!" Tomoyo snapped at him.   
  
His eyes rolled and a brown mist escaped him.  
  
"Eriol! Excuse yourself! That's so rude!" Tomoyo scolded.  
  
He didn't reply. He just stood there with a confused look on his face. The mist left the room. Sakura sensed it and she saw it leave. She asked to be excused and then followed it. "Return to your power confined! Clow Card!" (Sorry... I don't know the direct translation from the Japanese chant... so I just kinda you know...). The card floated into Sakura's hand. "The Stupid Card? Oh! So that's why Eriol and Tomoyo were acting so strange! I gotta go and tell them!" squealed Sakura.  
  
  
  
Eriol was glad that he wasn't really doing all those things. Tomoyo felt extremely stupid because really, she had been acting out of her own will. She still told them that she was under the spell of the card. "Tomoyo, can you meet me behind the school after school? I really need to talk to you about something." Eriol asked Tomoyo.  
  
"Sure thing!" she replied.   
  
  
  
As planed, Tomoyo met Eriol behind the school. "Eriol, before you say anything, I've got to tell you something! I wasn't under the spell of that card. I was doing all that stuff out of my own free will." she confessed. Eriol was a bit surprised, but glad nonetheless.   
  
"I'm glad that you said that because I've got something to tell you too. I... I really, really, really like you! When you were doing that whole milkshake thing *they both blush*, I was myself. I really enjoyed it." he confessed.  
  
"I see..."  
  
"And, I was wondering, would you like to be my girlfriend?" he asked, a little pink in the cheeks again.  
  
"Yes! Of course!" she answered. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. They left the school with their arms around each other. "I'm glad that card got to you. If it didn't we wouldn't have let our feelings for each other come out." Tomoyo told Eriol.  
  
"Ya, me too."  
  
  
  
*~*The*End*~*  
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Hehe... there you have it! That's my 3rd fan fic that I've ever written! My second one isn't up yet cuz I think the idea is kinda stupid... I'll post it l8er. You can tell me what you think of it! For this fic, I tried my best to be funny... I hope I was! When I was writing this, I thought that it was funny... maybe it's just me tho... And sorry if someone had already done a fic like this! I've never read it...  
  



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